


When the sun returns.

by taiji



Category: X JAPAN
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:35:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28783545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taiji/pseuds/taiji
Summary: Of which Yoshiki's friend is in the need of emotional support...
Relationships: Pata/Yoshiki (X JAPAN)
Kudos: 4





	When the sun returns.

**_A gloomy, rainy morning in Tokyo. 1993._ **

-

Not since 2 days ago now has Pata shown up to one of X's rehearsals. Though seeming not to bother anyone  _ else _ , Yoshiki had put this claim in place. Usually Pata quietly hangs in the corner with his beloved guitar, oblivious to the world around him - enjoying a can of beer along with that, though lately there are no sights of his being. It seems nobody cares enough to stand up and speak to him, or are perhaps too shy to, perhaps being of the cloud of darkness that appears to follow him everywhere. Was Pata… Depressed? It seemed as quite likely so.. Being of, Yoshiki wouldn't allow himself to watch his friend suffer. It was only before he'd known, he'd already been bracing himself in an attempted preparation for whatever was next to unfold, standing in front of the door. 

It's now been 3 or 4 knocks on the door, concern building up though all the signs suggesting that Pata is home...unless, was he kidnapped?! Of the attempt to escape such ideas from his head, an interruption comes as Yoshiki is greeted by Pata. Eyelids puffy, nearly seeming swollen, a smile plastered onto his lips, long since faded from reality, and such a  _ weak _ aura indicates that he could collapse in any second. 16:00, did Pata just wake up!? „Hi, Yoshiki-san..am.. what do you need?"  _ He's not acting like himself. _ He could only bring himself to invite Yoshiki inside and sit him down on the couch, close to him. The fake calmness drawn all over Yoshiki's face, Pata's condition certain to break him.. If already, it hasn't. 

„What did I tell you about such names? We're friends, you wouldn't call a friend like that." In a slight complaint, he's nearly forgotten the purpose of the visit. „Anyway, I need to know… Why do you keep missing X's rehearsals? I'm a bit worried about you.." Heart pounding rather quickly, his attention only being towards Pata, the tragically beautiful man stirring around next to him, sad eyes to be as reflecting as glass.. „Sorry.. I'll go to the next. I promise." Quiet, he definitely is.. Sure to be hiding something. Yoshiki's eyes peer towards the table sitting next to the sofa, two empty bottles of Jack Daniel's, and another being half full. It's known damn well, that Pata  _ loves _ his drinks like nothing else, but not to this extent. „Oh, Pata…. You're killing yourself with alcohol.." Unintended to sound intrusive or dramatic, though certainly the statement is in concern for Pata.. As 2 ½ bottles is quite a lot for such a short amount of time… 

„I know.”  _ Cold _ words, hurting his heart, sending chills down his spine, crawling throughout his body. His heart aches just hearing that Pata is  _ fine _ with practically drowning himself in alcohol. Although anticipated, after a few moments of silence, Yoshiki finally lashed out and spoke up, „What’s bothering you, Pata!? You need to tell me!”  _ No...no….. Was Pata intimidated? _ A few tears slide down his cheeks, and though decently obscured, Yoshiki wasn't the failure for noticing. „Nothing is bothering me.. Please leave me alone, I'm fine.”  _ How selfless he is, always there to listen to someone, though in himself, he can’t even bear the thought of seeing others’ pitying him. ‘This can’t be healthy, right?’ _ Yoshiki wonders, disadvantaged at a loss of words, but no matter the problem, Yoshiki needs to take the most non-judgmental path.  _ For Pata _ . „Look at me, you aren’t fine. Your eyes are so sad…” He wants to  _ hold _ Pata,  _ express his love, tell him 'Everything will be okay'  _ But in an unknown reason, he foolishly can't come to do it. „I'm sorry.” Broken, all he could say -  _ sorry, _ why? His intention now long ago failed, he finds himself fingers intertwined, heart beating at what feels like a million miles per hour, and that damn fragile, sad, beautiful man in his lap. „Don’t worry about it, sweetie.” Pulling Pata closer to him, he  _ captures _ his lips, the two now sharing an innocent kiss. Good thing Yoshiki chose matte lipstick today! One hand clenching Pata’s, the other supporting him on his lap. He could’ve sworn to taste Pata’s salty tears in this kiss, each drop flooding him with all of the sadness… All Yoshiki wanted was to cheer up his friend….  _ Pata’s lips _ , they're  _ ridiculously _ soft; If only Yoshiki could hold him like this forever, comforting him, tasting those sweet tears, showing him that someone cares about him.. how calming it is. In a short time, though kiss being broken, Yoshiki wouldn't allow himself to let go of Pata any time soon.. More so of that he can't. Though in moments, Pata suddenly speaks up, „Yo-chan… do you...pity me? Why would you do that..?”  _ How is Yoshiki supposed to respond to this? _ „No.. I’m  _ worried _ about you because you’re my friend, and I love you.” So casually admitting…Yoshiki can love?

Perhaps under all those cold disguises and lace, Yoshiki is a kind person.. But to Pata, more of an angel. A beautiful angel; one with beautiful blonde curls that frame his face perfectly, loosely hang, barely noticed, do these things even have an end? Now dampening Yoshiki’s shirt with his tears, Pata curls himself up, now against Yoshiki’s chest. Slim fingers lying on Pata’s back, Yoshiki begins to rock him back and forth - It's strangely calming, though Pata had feels as though he's a small child all over again. The first time since seemingly forever that he could even feel loved, or forget about his loneliness for even a short amount of time. For another time, their eyes meet, Pata's eyes appear less sad than they’d been before, though something still off about them. To a surprise, it’d taken this long for Yoshiki to realise just how beautiful Pata is; so gentle and sweet, Yoshiki couldn’t watch this man drink himself to death. „You're not going to leave me.. Right?” Caressing Pata’s cheek, his fingers warm Pata’s cold skin.. His cheeks drawing red, it's the first time Yoshiki had ever seen him blush.. Or even seen him while not depressed. „I promise not to leave you.” Yoshiki bringing Pata to his chest, chills crawl up and down Pata’s spine, it leaves almost a pooling sensation in the rest of his body; though this time it isn't necessarily bad.. He feels loved, for once. Now laying in Yoshiki’s arms… so calming...he could fall asleep right there… Of which he did… To Yoshiki, later drifting off to sleep as well, with Pata.  _ For him. _

Hesitantly, Yoshiki's eyes opening.. What time is it? How long did he sleep? The  _ lack _ of feeling around him indicates he's alone;  _ where is Pata? _ Reluctantly, he began to wander around Pata’s house, holding the thought of whether or not Pata is even still there. He’d only open the door to reveal Pata in his bedroom, drinking whiskey, once again holding that certain sadness that lingers to him… „Pata.. You really shouldn’t drink this much, you’re going to  _ die _ if you don’t drink less..” Pata’s eyes.. So weak and regretful, but he seemed so happy just earlier.. Is he bipolar? „Yo-chan, you always worry about me.. Please .. it's unnecessary..” Physically, neither Yoshiki himself, was in perfect condition, either.. his blonde curls scattered everywhere, each strand wirey, it seemed he’d ruined his hair.. Likely because of all of the bleach, no,  _ definitely. _ „I worry about you because I love you.. Now, get out of bed.” Though puzzled, Pata complied, Yoshiki noting Pata’s difficulty simply balancing.. Just how much does he drink? At this rate, he may not live longer than in another  _ year _ if he doesn’t cut back with excessive amounts of alcohol... He’d found himself following Yoshiki who lead him to the washroom, „You need to bathe.. You reek of alcohol.” Agreeing, shyly yet, Pata didn't think of it as too large of a request. Though it doesn't matter the person, bathing with someone else around may feel slightly awkward..However, in this case, he's fine with it. Yoshiki is simply fine. 

Pata can't help but jump around every time those cold fingers touch his skin, helping him to remove his clothes until everything's off. Comfortably, Pata lay back in the tub, as Yoshiki proceeds to turn the water on. Appearing calm, despite his poorly hidden sadness, at any encounter, such a presence hugged Yoshiki..  _ Is this what being in love is?  _ „Am….Pata… Can I.. Join you?" He noticed how peaceful Pata looked, though keeping to himself, hiding in his locks of hair, those curls being seemingly spread throughout the bathtub, man, his hair is so long. „It's fine.." accepting of the offer, Pata adjusts himself, creating more space for Yoshiki in the time he undresses himself. Though now, climbing into the tub, Yoshiki understands Pata's shyness; as Yoshiki himself also feels shy, exposed.. 

Only after a short amount of time, the water already was filled up just past their hips. As continuing, the two speak about life, X, and how their friendship means, perhaps even where it was leaning towards.. 

It hadn't felt that any time had passed at all, although it was already necessary for Yoshiki to turn off the water as the bathtub already had filled up, during the time being, Yoshiki assisted Pata with washing himself. After a little while, both had finished bathing and Yoshiki now lay with Pata in his bed. Bringing smiles to each other's faces, softly joking with one another, and Pata's head resting on Yoshiki's arm whilst being cuddled up. The more that the two realised it, maybe they  _ are _ meant for each other, after all. Though not desiring to leave Yoshiki's arms, something still sharply pokes him in the pit of his stomach, the reminder that  _ nothing lasts forever.  _

_ „Yoshiki." _

Squares that have been drawn by the moonlight. The only light source in the room, proudly shining in through the window. Pata's eyes reflect them, the ones that Yoshiki stared into, it  _ told  _ him to _ continue.  _

_ „When the sun returns.. You won't leave, right?" _ Innocent, curious eyes, they'd be to heal Yoshiki...He couldn't seem to look away from them. 

„I already promised to you, I'm not leaving you, no matter what. You know that I love you, and I know that you wouldn't like me to leave you alone… You think I could watch you suffer? No. I won't stand to even for a second." 

„Thank you so much.. Yo-chan.. goodnight… I love you." With that, the two were soon fast asleep, tangled in each other's arms. 

-

_ And when the sun returned, Yoshiki was still there, bringing Pata into the tightest embrace he'd ever felt. _

_This is what love is, isn't it?_


End file.
